Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: So they have somewhere to hide when they see a mouse.
Q: What is really big, green and has a trunk. A: An elephant that isn't ripe yet.
Q: How come you don't ever see elephants hiding in trees? A: Because they're excellent at it Q: Why is it not advisable to walk in the jungle between 6pm and 7pm? A: Because that is when all of the elephants get out of the trees. Q: How come there are still pygmies in the jungle? A: Because they walked through the jungle between five and six
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: Elephino (hell if I know)
Q: What do you call an elephant that just doesn't really matter? A: An irrelephant
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with that have yellow soles? A: So you are unable to see them when they float upside down in the custard. Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in custard? A: No, of course you haven't, they wear yellow soled shoes. Q: Why do yoou usually see elephants travelling in herds? A: So that they can get a group discount on the shoes with yellow soles.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway? A: About 4 kmh.Q: How can you fit four elephants in a mini cooper car? A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? A: You open the door and see the elephant. Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge? A: When the door doesn't quite close. Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge? A: They laugh when the light goes out. Q: How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge? A: There is an empty mini cooper car parked outside your house.Q: What is the best way to hide an elephant in a cherry tree? A: You paint his toenails red. Q: Ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? A: Well it obviously works.Q: How do you an elephant up a tree?A: Plant a seed under him and wait 50 years. Q: How do you get down from an elephant? A: You don't, you get down from a goose. Q: Why do elephants wear sandals? A: So that they don't sink in the sand. Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground? A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.Q: What do you call elephants who ride on planes? A: Passengers.
Q: Why did the elephants have to miss swimming? A: They couldn't keep their trunks up
Q; What is really big and grey but also turns red? A: An embarrassed elephant.
Q: Why are elephants unable to ride bicycles? A: They don't have thumbs to ring the bells.How many steps does it take to put an elephant into your fridge? Three:Open doorPut in elephantClose door.How many steps does it take to put a hippo into your fridge? Four!Open door.Take elephant out of fridge.Put hippo into fridge.Close door.
Q: What is really beautiful, grey in colour and has a glass slipper? A: Cinderelephant Q: Why did the baby elephant have to borrow a bag? A: Because he only had a little trunk.
Q: Why will elephants never be able to use computers? A: Because they always run away from the mouse.Q: There were 3 elephants under one umbrella, how did they manage to all stay dry? A: It was a sunny day.
Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? A: Because they're so good at it. Q: What is an elephants favourite way to communicate with each other? A: By using the ElephoneQ: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? A: Because he slipped and fell. Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? A: Because he was tied to the first elephant. Q: Why did the third elephant fall out? A: He thought it was a game Q: Why did the tree fall down? A: It thought it was an elephantQ: What type of ant is the hugest in the world? A: An elephant Q: What do you call an elephant who is using a phone booth? A: Stuck
An American was inside Westminster Abbey when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. Being intrigued, he asked a priest what the telephone was for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went on his way. Next stop was in Lincoln There, at the cathedral, he saw a similar golden telephone and sign and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God. 'O.K., thank you,' said the American. He then travelled to York , Durham and Liverpool In every Cathedral he saw a similar golden telephone and '£10,000 per call' sign
He eventually arrived in Cardiff, entered the cathedral , and there was a similar golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.' The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Reverend, I've travelled all over England and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in England the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it only 50pence here?' The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Wales now, son .... it's a local call.'
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage? EVER WONDER... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?